Though in many ways it exemplified cultural difference in a typical East European way my dad showed me photos of his family in their coffins. If you want to understand the otherworldliness of my dad you just need to see the film “Being There”.

My dad’s favourite TV programme was Dad’s Army which reminded him of his time in the Lithuanian Home Guard. Never was there a better example of war that makes ordinary people the playthings of much larger forces. Lithuania was a country that was initially effectively invaded by the Soviets then the Nazis and finally the Soviets again. Which meant my dad becoming a refugee in England and never seeing his Lithuanian wife again. I think that must have really affected him but the only mention of it was tangential- he talked about a play in which a couple meets each other after years of separation and look in wonder at the love-heart they carved into a tree when they were young.

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Knowing my love of the Saturday afternoon wrestling on TV he took me to a real bout. even I as a little kid was amazed to see the transformation- your solid larger than life dad becoming this week little man waving his fist at the floodlit panto.